Apparently there are some sharp (smart?) spammers out there. This is a paragraph from the metadata in a spam message I got recently. It made me laugh; first useful thing I’ve gotten from spam this year! It isn’t normally visible, because it is only there to fool spam filters into thinking the message is real. You have to know some higher level math to get all the inside jokes– not sure I even get all of them.

Once upon a time (1/T) pretty Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the boundary of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent, and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the basis that it was insufficient, and made her way amongst the complex elements. Rows and columns closed in from all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Quite suddenly, two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix, and went completely divergent. As she reached a turning point, she tripped over a square root that was protruding from the erf and plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she rounded off once more, she found herself inverted, apparently alone, in a non- euclidean space.

The “non-euclidean” part may be the best. In such a space, light curves, & the shortest distance between 2 points **isn’t** a straight line… In such a world, nothing is as it seems. Must be where spam comes from!