Dear Friends and Family,
It was 2 pm, Friday afternoon when terror and death struck south campus. In one flash of movement, the beloved south campus celebrity, Whitey, so loved and cherished by OSU students, was cruelly murdered. Several students walking through the South Oval witnessed the aftermath of the attack. I personally was not there and did not see it happen, but when I read about it later in the newspapers, I thought it was rather funny. I was never a fan of Whitey’s, and on campus it really is survival of the fittest. I guess he got lulled into a false sense of security because of the attention he got from the students. Then one day, wham! That Hawk got an easy meal since the squirrel was albino and easy to spot from above. I’m surprised it lasted this long.
So now that the long reign of Whitey the celebrity squirrel has ended, perhaps life can go back to the natural order of things, where humans are thoroughly annoyed by squirrels. I really, honestly almost ran over one on my bike this week. I think I might have got a few tufts of its tail as it streaked by in front of my bike. I almost had a wreck. I wish I could return to the days when I only had to worry about running over squirrels when I was driving a CAR! Well, whatever our world is coming to, I just hope its not the squirrels who take over America instead of the terrorists. Squirrels would actually make very good terrorists if they stopped worrying about nuts. “Awww, look at that cute little squirrely, isn’t he sooo cute! Hey, what’s that he’s got strapped around its waist?….BOOM!” Yeah, so I guess I’ll leave that train of thought where it is ;)>
A more exciting event than the above (if you can imagine) happened thursday night. I was innocently walking down the stairwell towards the ground floor, when a group of 6 boys burst through the door and came galloping up the stairs. They were all in swimming trunks, dripping wet, beet red, and screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs. I, in absolute shock, flattened myself against the wall and tried to adopt the pattern of the stones behind me as the mob rushed passed me on their way upstairs toward dry clothes and a hot shower. As I ventured down to the dorm lobby and outside, I was passed by more wet, red, and screaming college students. Once outside and on the street, everywhere I looked were people in bathing suites (despite it being 30 degrees outside), screaming, yelling, and generally being idiots. I’m guessing they were all screaming because it was so cold, and screaming makes you warmer (really it does, try it some time).
Fortunately for me, I wasn’t as confused by this as you are now, because I knew what night it was. This thursday night was “Jump in Mirror Lake” night. No kidding. For the past ten years the tradition at Ohio State has been, the thursday night before the Ohio/Michigan game, everybody gets drunk and jumps in mirror lake at midnight. Not everybody gets drunk first (we are actually told not too, but people think it’s more fun when you are drunk), and very few people actually wait till midnight. It starts around 10pm, and by midnight (I know this because I went out and looked from the safe distance of a nearby building) the little valley of Mirror Lake is packed with thousands of swim clad students, most of them screaming, and many of them in the lake. And just let me remind you that Mirror Lake is just that, a Lake. It is not a pool. It is home to a large flock of ducks, and who knows what else inside the water. It is full of leaves, mud, and gunk, and basically not a nice place to be. “Remind me why you decided to go to Ohio State again?” Yeah, I know. Well, I didn’t know about this when I signed up.
So there is your excitement for the week, classes are all going well in that I have good grades, and not going well in that I always have too much homework. Everything else is normal and nothing to report, except that ITS THANKSGIVING THIS WEEK!!!!! **does small jig on the spot*……*actually does very large jig with several leaps and lots of shouting** So I’m going home Wed. and will be coming back Sun. Yeah!! So I’ll see most of you on Sunday, and the rest, have a wonderful Thanksgiving! (don’t forget to be thankful that you’re not being overrun by squirrels or drunk college students).
“Nothing worth doing in life is easy.” – The Animatrx